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2022-03-30 11:41 pm

on anti shippers

Had to block an account I thought had decent meta takes bc they were calling certain shippers of their fandom “freaks who should just stop. people with no morals that propagate harmful things in real life”. Didn’t get to the kill yourself and should dissapear from the face of Earth levels, but very much giving those vibes. Goddamn, good to know you’ve drunk from the anti crowd pro-censure kool-aid before I actually followed or reblogged anything from you. Now I take everything they ever said with a grain of salt lol. Could have just stoped at “I don’t undertand why they ship that, I see “that pairing” in a platonic way, but to each their own” and it’d been perfectly acceptable but they had to go the extra mile to imply certain people in their fandom were freaks with no rights.

Sometimes I block accounts bc their content isn’t to my liking, and it’s everywhere and there’s nothing else to it. Um. Sorry to them, it’s me not you. Other times I block real life idiots with harmful beliefs being bigots (of every kind and stripe). Other times I block people I seem to vibe with when they suddenly shove a post on my face about how certain persons on their fandom and terrible and horrible people just because of their ships. Way to be myopic and idiotic.
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2022-03-30 08:09 pm
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merienda!

image

Merendando late; mid-afternoon meal bc in Spain we dinner at 22h and I specifically sometimes as late as 23h. So like I’m jus remembering that what English call cookie 🍪 and what I call Galleta (the above photo) are two very different things that nonetheless are sold at the same section of the supermarket lol

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2022-03-29 10:06 pm
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more on atlas six

A funny thing of me having read The Atlas Six is that I only knew the book before reading it, for like, one or two artsy photo collages with a quote under it. And the sinopsis before reading it. That was it. I had no idea it was super popular (bc I have no TikTok nor will I) nor did I research reviews or anything. I just saw it and I was like: oh that book seemed interesting by that quote, gotta read the sinopsis. Then I got it and I finished in one night. No having expectations is such a sweet thing too. I had forgotten what that felt like.

Today I read like 4?5? chapters of Gideon the Ninth. I haven’t been spoiled on it, miraculously, although I’ve heard people praise the book a lot. And some funny sinopsis with no spoilers, the kind that tumblr loves. Read a crossover of dubious quality like almost two years ago with MDZS where I was: who are these two girls wtf is going on.

 Had to stop reading bc although the language is absolutely beautiful in how its managed. (Also sometimes it begs to be read aloud, I wasn’t expecting that quality!!) Although it stablishes really well the world and Gideon and I think the rest of the book is gonna go up… It’s so grim and things are so terrible all around holy shit. It hit me hard. Also everything is ugly; not the language of the story but the mood and the images they conjure in my mind. I’m a very visual reader, to the point I lose track of where I really am when I’m absorved bc I’m viewing everything in my head, so I was like. Ick. Ick. Ick. XD I’ll keep reading the book; but I’m not very optimistic to whether it’d be to my liking at the end.
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2022-03-29 09:47 pm
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Nico and Libby

Read a lot of posts shipping Nico and Libby, and I’m a bit hmmm on them as a rom ship. For starters in the book, very fast I thought, oh Nico is Libby endgame. And ipsofacto at Gideon’s mention by Libby; oh this is a subersion of the rivals to lovers, Nico has a boyfriend and is gonna be rivals to besties! That was totally how it came across to me xD

Then I got more Libby/Nico vibes and I was. mmm. Nico isn’t dating anyone seriously? Maybe Nico is bi? Maybe Gideon is not the boyfriend but the house help bc wasn’t Nico rich or something? I was very much reading and going from one idea to the other xD Then it was answered! Bestie with whom Nico is living and whom he adores and viceversa. So there are vibes in all directions cool!!

(then it resulted libby was bi and i was like. uhmmm. interesting development, love it. parisa you’re being manipulative again but i like this result so i guess i’ll enjoy the mess xD cannot believe tristan was the one more messed up by that encounter ouch)

Those were my thoughts at the start y’know? I’m more or less equally inclined to both ships, but at the same time I absolutely love that it’s not explicitly romantic, and that Nico adores these two different people and right now Gideon is his best friend and Libby is his magic-soulmate-twin.

And I mean from the book explicit pairings?/sex scenes? What do we call all that.  I got sexual (?) vibes but not many romantic ones?? It was part of the scenery you could day not given more importance that the rest of the elements of the story which was very very very nice and cool.

But I specifically clock Nico/Libby as platonic right now (who knows what future books will bring, I’m open to everything, and indeed their dynamic is one of my fave tropes) bc the twin vibes that Reina thinks on? That wording struck me more as familial. The thing of the same birthday, opposite dominant hand, complementary masteries of the physical magic arts… Also their interactions sometimes? Got me that besties/siblings who cannot stand each other but also cannot live without each other.

I don’t mind it? I think its gonna be fascinating exploring this connection between the two going fowards. But I find it a bit fun that the pairing that is so adored by the fandom is, like the antis would say, a bit sibling coded.

And hey I recognize that Nico is attracted to her on his POV and viceversa. But I find it interestingXD
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2022-03-28 12:05 pm
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Iron Widow review

Speed-read the Iron Widow and wow. Although the execution isn’t nowhere perfect, and could be better, I loved the charas and the worldbuilding! It was a pastiche but a nice one that worked with the book instead of against it, and I’m hoping we’ll see more of it in the second with that ending! Gave Ender’s Game vibes too… And also that creepy book where teenagers that behave badly are discomposed in a conscious operation to donate all their organs, what with Shimin state at the end. Gods I hope he comes back as a cyborg or something.

Wu Zetian rage and all of her, her ocasional blindness bc of it, for all the bad shit and trauma of her life, is such a good fem protag. Read someone saying it’d been better if she was meeker at the begining? And like, sorry, if she were she would have died on Yang G(whatevs) head on her first try. Or the story wouldn’t exist. There’s thousand of heroines that start meek, let Wu Zetian know exactly what she want and take all the steps to her ends and ambitions. Gods it was such a relief. How she wants so badly to love and be loved but no-one besides Yizhi and later Li Shimin (bc her sis is dead now) gave her that, and even then, how she doubts herself bc patriarchy fucked up her life so badly.

Also, everybody saying Yizhi is the sweet one, and like, compared to Zetian, sure, even with Shimin bc all he has suffered, but he’s a very determined fucker. Love to see him pulling strings for his two pilots and enabling their violence, and being down to murder. I feel like I was missing his and Shimin PoV’s sometimes. I just know those two had their conversations off page and i would love to have a window to their part of the triangle. Really more time in developing all sides all the relationship would been welcome, I feel like it jumped time very fast sometimes… 

I hope they three can get together again in the second book, but I’m holding my breath. Li Shimin doesn’t deserve to end on the hands of new jailers just when he had found  acceptance and happiness again ;_; (In my opinion, he’s the sweetest violence and murders non-withstanding, a rugged sort of kindness)

For the sexond book, chaos ahead. Qin Zheng and Wu Zetian acting rulers at the same time is gonna be messy I’m telling you xD I hope it ends if not happily with our trio alive and working to better the lives of people >_< Zetian can have a little tirany as a treat though.
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2022-03-28 08:37 am
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atlas six

Just read The Atlas Six. I think between this book and Iron Window I spent 3-4hours more or less on each one? Seems like I still have the speed yay.

Onto the book itself? Loved how the various relationships (plat or rom) moved things,plus the magcs. And of course Atlas and The Society were shady af so at the end I was like. Sure it makes sense!!! But I’m so relieved nobody is dead!(yet) even the charas I liked least grew on me by the end and they were really well developed from the start. (Also in one of my og stories I have a dangerously powerful empath so although most of the time I hated his actitud Callum was fascinating in a way yup.)

I’ll post later more advanced thoughts, for now, yes is a really really good book.

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2022-03-25 10:51 am
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2ha adaptation

Been thinking about Immortality (2HA adaptation) and how I don’t have any expectatives bc. Just look at China censorship right now. And yet now I’m wondering if all the rape scenes from Taxian-jun and Concubine Chu will be substitued by elaborate weirdly sexualised tortures of Imperial Qin Player Chu. Interspeced for weird comfort/conflicted scenes after. (Plain torture was there in the book too anyways) It’s not like there isn’t a long history of erotisiced violence everywhere. Wether that’d be good or not… At least it’d be interesting to watch if only for the aesthetic and the comparison with 2HA.
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2022-03-16 06:14 pm
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batman 2022

In the morning session for The Batman (2022), subtitled, and when the penguin goes, does no one know the difference btwn el or la, and you know I’m in Spain, so the ten person that we were there just laughed xD

Also the bat thing, bc in Spanish it’s “el murciélago” so I was going, up until that point, making weird faces about how the movie wasn’t going in that obvious direction anthem it did! But the confusion was bc they didn’t know how the determinants in Spanish work. Nice little plus of watching it with the og actor voices and dialogue.

Then itt happened to not really matter that much? It was a pun on URL which lol wasn’t expecting it despite knowing English xD

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2022-03-12 02:38 pm
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translations eng vs espa for 2ha

Contemplating the fact that my chinese isn’t good enough yet to read webnovels (most of all because I’m into the fantasy xianxia kind and the historical ones and wuxia, and like, the vocabulary there is not cotidiane and more specialised) and pondering which translations of 2HA I could read: two in English, of dubious quality both, and the one in Latin American Spanish, which I think takes from the English one and translates very literally and is overall weird to me as a Spaniard. Because it seems like it’s badly translated when half the time it’s just it’s using common latam wording, and the other half akward chinese phrase structure. 

And still, I read the first two books in English, the third in the Spanish translation; and although overall the Spanish one was more difficult to me because of my familiarity with my native tongue, when I switched back to English bc I was tired of reading and rewording words in my head, I went to reread the last part I was in the Spanish version, and it was very emotional and I had tears in my eyes in it, and in the English one it didn’t process. The emotion wasn’t there. At all.

I felt very weirded out?? That the reasonance wasn’t there…. No that I didn’t cry again; it usually just impacts me the first one or two times and then I just feel very deeply but not cry. But there wasn’t deep feeling on my chest or anything. I commented to my mother in it and she said it made sense because English feels very cold and it has no poetry in comparison with other languages (her opinion people, which I happen to partially agree with. i think that to us, spanish speakers, it seems so bc we aren’t english lol) and I went mmm. Maybe??

But I read fics and books in English and cried lots? Over two years ago I went into the Silm fandom and the amount of tears I cried could fill an ocean, so overwhelmed I was by the writting. And ok, the quality there is super high, so maybe it isn’t fair, but compared to other people I know I get really into the stories I like and cry easily. In Spanish, in English, in Japanese…

So I suppose is the Chinese translation into English what wasn’t working for me there?? And now I’m super frustrated, bc its left me with no option but to go back to the, for me, incredibly frustrating Spanish version bc it may tire me, and make me want to like, break something, but at least there I get a sense of the depth of emotion of the original.

What I am sure is the moment I get the fluency in Chinese I’ll be rereading 2HA in the original language it was written in.
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2022-03-12 01:35 pm

the name ugetsu

Watched today Ugetsu Monogatari at uni for a class, and came out thinking about what does it mean that Ugetsu Murata from Given has that name. The film is pretty phamtasmagoric and the title is translated literally to something like “Tales of Moonlight and Rain”, which listening to my teacher is meant to refer to the ilusory and fragile world that’s experienced when those elements came together and makes up what the atmosphere around what the four main charas end up experiencing; ambiguous supernatural elements + a comment on war and men and how it affects their families(their wifes especifically in this case). Is also the loose adaptation of two or three tales of a collection by the same name written by author Ueda in 1776, and the title is no coincidence…

Right so it seems Ugetsu has the connotations of mistery and magic, as in, nights where anything could happen. Back already in the sXVIII. So, I like the name, both what it means and the way it sounds outloud but I wonder, uh. Why the chara in Given has that name. He does give a bit of pseudo-gothic/haunted vibes at the start… if not by the supernatural.
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2022-03-06 01:18 pm
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elf aging in the silm

A weird thing about elves aging(not) in Tolkien, and specifically Age of the Trees (timelessness) Silm, is how it affects intergenerational relationships. That in all likehood someone like Maedhros is nearer in age to his parents n uncles/aunts than to his youngest siblings and cousins. I think this is something your can see on most of the first kids of his parents gen (seemed like they had kids plenty and young by elves standards based on what we see in other Ages and generations) but is specifically accused with him. Um. Wonder how that affected the relationship dynamics between people in general.

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2022-02-04 09:32 pm
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(no subject)

Rewatching Nirvana in Fire and the episodes on the aftermath of Xie You and the death of Tainainai are heartbreaking. I don’t seem to being able to stop crying.

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2022-02-01 02:31 pm
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BTS

Listened to old BTS songs, from the HYYH full album and also Wings, and I’m like. Oh, i like these ones best because every other song has a violin (or more than one) doing a melody underneath. And it gives these songs a very unique feel? To be fair I haven’t listened to anything beyond shadow: interlude and black swan (orchestral version) and ON lol and I mean that from 7 I listened to those three on repeat, did once the rest and proceeded to forget about the album. Until like, yesterday didn’t even notice there was an album after that. I don’t like very much the new style? But I tend to go or for ballads or for angsty, so yeah Wings and LY: Tear (plus songs form the HYYH era) is both when I started listening to their music and where I stayed lmfao. Also those videos are the prettiest? Not the most elaborate or anything, but very nostalgic and/or gothic.

PD: I welcome other music recomendations based on this. I find kpop to be way too dense to start listening without at least some sense about the artists and the songs.
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2022-01-17 05:30 pm
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Twilight inspiration

Cursed thought: did Stephanie Meyer read Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice, and if so, did she got inspired on Edward mind reading powers (between the other gifts) by Lestat et other’s abilities? Maybe Armand?yikes

Or were those books too much for her? I somehow can’t imagine SM not having read at least Interview with a Vampire and Lestat the Vampire…. But I can also perfectly imagine her passing them over bc mormon-thingy.
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2022-01-15 02:05 pm
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Words lost in translation

I really feel sad for you all native speakers that in English the word “madrugada” doesn’t exist. You have early morning, deep into nighttime, at daybreak, etc, but not a word for the concept of those hours between 1 am and 5-6 am where everything is dark and the night seems endless, and people are still around in the streets walking or talking or driking and dancing at weekends and summer-nights. For the hours of working or studying so late you end up with raccon eyes, and the silence deep when you look out of your window before finally going to bed.

“Madrugar” with the same root, is a verb that means to make an early morning, that is, to wake up very soon, sooner than normal or than it is reasonable. But “la madrugá” comes before that. It’s its own delimited space.

English has a weird word for the hours between the fall of the sun and dinner, “Evening”, that in Spanish simply doesn’t exist either. It’s directly from “tarde” (afternoon) to “noche” (night) although sometimes you can hear “tarde-noche” for when in winter the sun comes down at 5-6 pm just with “la merienda” (mid-afternoon meal, like a breakfast but for afternoons) and dinner still doesn’t happen until 10 pm.

In the same way you all live life in a way that make “evening” an useful word, we in Spain (dunno other spanish-speaking countries, just talking for mine) talk about the madrugada and we meant activity late into the night that is understood in a context by other spaniards that in English is completely absent. It’s strange.

All of this, of course, because I wanted to start a tumblr post with “Es de madrugá donde vivo y aún estoy aquí…”
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2022-01-02 05:45 pm

Little Women 2019 Review

Whatever the original book said or its author intended Jo March in the 2019 movie is such a mirror to what an aro-spec experiences, I cried lots with her, I don’t care whatever happens with Friedich or not, her dialogue and her friendship with Laurie and her love for her family and when she breaks down with her mother because everyone is leaving her behind to marry and make their own lives and if she wants to be someone priority society tells her she has to shed everything that makes her herself and debase herself for a man, but “I just want to be loved, and I don’t care at this point if I have to perform if only I wouldn’t be lonely” -style. It’s very much about feminism but it resonates so well with aro experiencies I’ll just project it on her, because it felt so good to have that struggle on a film. It felt so good. Tears are still falling from my eyes right now.

The way her aunt, although took under her wing Amy, and gave the opportunity to make connections and education to marry up to her (because she correctly saw that Amy would be the one who wanted and understood that world) but left the house to Jo, who didn’t want to marry, who had big dreams of making money to sustain herself without depending on men. She gave Jo a safety net to make sure she wouldn’t need to marry or to depend on her family, and whatever Jo chose in canon, it’s such a gift? Independency.
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2022-01-01 02:24 pm
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On poetry and English

I have no idea how poetry functions in English and at this point I’m afraid to ask.

Yes, I said this as someone who has written some or other poem in English; however I’m literally translating what I do when I compose in Spanish, and I’ve just realised I have no fucking idea how English entonation works because this shit mishmash language doesn’t have tonic silabes the way spanish does and whatever you guys call metric is incomprehensible. What the hell is that iambic? lambic? parameter? thingy that shakespeare loved to use???

I should probably investigate this more but. Ugh, the laziness. Japanese poetry makes more sense in comparison bc at least the sylabes whole everything are very much like in Spanish >-< Unique things unique to japanese non withstanding.

And that’s weird bc I couldn’t post this in Japanese but I sure could analyse a poem structure better in it that in English.
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2021-12-19 04:23 pm
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eurovision junior ¿?¿?¿?

somehow i’ve ended up watching eurovision junior and is deeply bizarre. i had some notion of its existence? but i had not contempled its reality. and its just. weird?? very weird?? i mean the kids look like they’re having fun and i remember enough of when i did theatre to know it has to be fantastic but it’s also very… uhm. i feel kinda bad for them?? all that exposure and the songs are eh~ and omg some are trying so hard to imitate the adults eurovision is kinda embarrasing and adorable. i won’t be watching more but uh. kinda had to let it out.
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2021-12-13 11:42 pm

Wheel of Time 2021 up to ep 6

I didn’t know anything about the Wheel of Time but it’s so good??? Just watched the sixth episode and omg??? (I watched the rest of the series first obvs xD) Just. Everything about the characters, and the magic, the “encauzar”, and the colors and the clothes of everyone. And Moraine is the best >-< she just creept in my spot of fave chara silently? without warning? I really liked how her keeping of secrets and not talking much about what isn’t needed is something she is just like, that she does with everyone not just the confused main 5. When I realised that she was that way with everyone I went, oh that’s just great!!! But then she isn’t by any means inept she just, like, prefers to keep to herself most of the time with unkowns. Also she’s so beautiful I just stare at her when she enters the room, which is super weird for me with female charas and clearly shows I wasn’t watching the right shows. The female charas on the Wheel of Time are so so good? Siuan was a perfect surprise, how good is it to see a conflicted leader trying to do good, actively, being hard in front of others and then the difference with  her in private with Moraine or later with Nynnive and Egweine??? Woman leaders are usually or “be kind and lead by the heart” or “be a (man)warrior”when they aren’t on the opposing side being bad bitches and manipulating. So I love her complexity ;_;

Speaking of the rest of the cast. Lan is great both with Moraine and Nynaeve.  Moraine with him is great too, their scenes are really sweet and a bit hilarious in the “eh, you thought het but nope just besties for life” way, and also a bit heartbreaking. Just, the knight and lady imagery of it all. The way it’s platonic in the best possible way. The end of ep 5 omg.

Nynaeve (gods those names. they’re suffering, it’s impossible to divine the writing form from the spoken way) so anyway, the way she’s just relentlessly driven to protect Egwaine and the others and remain suspicious of the Aes Sedhai is at the same time a bit funny and really admirable??? Loved how she killed that trollock and the fact that Lan had to practically kidnapp her to make her cure Moraine but then she took it super seriously, and her explosion of healing power…. Great!! Also everytime red ajah blondie came to talk to her, she just, like, listened bc info is info, but also just ignored her attempts to tempt her to the ~Red side~ “we hate men in here” Lmfao. We like to see complex fem charas!!

Egwene is a bit more eh for me (and just, Moraine is my fave on general right now), but like, personal tastes aside, she’s amazing too and I loved when she went and told Rand, “look, maybe i want to be something more, and use this potential/power, and dunno, if i have to give up a life as someone’s wife or mother….” XD So great. Also that talk was handed really well in both parts? I liked that although there was a bit of drama it wasn’t awfull soap opera let’s kill any brain cells on our charas shit, but very realistic to both charas.

Of the guys… I mentioned Lan, above, and he’s very good, but my fave just by vibes and chara until now is Rand. He’s the other chara I spend way too much time looking at, bc the red hair-blue shirt combination calls terribly to my magpie eyes lol. But I love how he’s like, ignorant and a bit self-centered and also ready to die for his friends and be kind with people in general. He feels very realistic and not at all a bore or an idiot, which other charas of his kind tendo to fall into. Mat is terribly interesting if in the “i can’t keep my eyes away from the disaster” way xD

And Perrin… Oh poor poor Perrin!! Just, that first ep was terrible to him, and of all the ways to fridge someone, the realism of an overrreaction just at the end of a fight hit me hard. (Also when you have so many fem charas so great and complex you can allow this xD) Really liked how he’s the first of the boys in exhibit some innate power beyond dreams (and being possesed by a fkcd up daguer Mat) and how they’re nature related?? Wolf related, but the way he talked to the caravan people, and showed interest on their pacifism… Oh, I think he won’t have many opportunities in the future to do that….

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2021-12-01 01:18 pm
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The Host inspiration

Realising Animorphs exists with its alien parasite species (Yeerk) and just. Thinking back on The Host by Stephanie Meyer. And how they’re two very very very different stories but now I can’t help but think SM read at some point Animorphs- or heard about it. I haven’t read much SF how common those kinda aliens are? The ones that are small and rept into your brain to control your body in the process absorving your traits bc otherwise they haven’t a way to really live? Ok, about everything about the Animorphs worldbuilding is better than SM, bc as I said the stories themes are different, and are interested in exploring wildly different things, and the souls in The Host are besides very lite in comparison and stepped in Meyer christian imaginery but. I can’t unsee it. Why. I didn’t need those dots connecting in my brain.